A Mother's Story:
Making it All Worthwhile

Jana's Story

"I wanted to share our story to give hope to parents out there. We are constantly feeling the pressure to give in or give up. I saw Tessa Stuckey speak back in 2015 when my oldest was just 2 years old. It changed my way of parenting [with screens] and I am forever grateful.

However, I am constantly worried that I am too harsh or strict and needed to check in with my two boys to see how things were going on their end. Practicing check-ins  with my boys has helped make this journey with screens successful.”

To set this up, Jana shares that before she made changes within her home, her oldest was only 2 while her second had just been born. She hesitated to go learn information on screens, as she rarely let her two-year-old play with her phone and was relying on movies only a few times a week. But her son’s pre-school offered free child-care for an hour, so she took advantage and joined in the meeting.

Now 9 years later, this is their current screen use:

- TV: Only two TVs in the house—one connected to YouTube and the other limited to streaming services like Netflix, Disney Plus, Hulu, and NFL (all content viewable in shared spaces).

- Computer: A family laptop, always stationed in communal areas with parental controls, content filters, and password-protected browsing.

- No Personal Devices: The kids don’t have personal devices of any kind (yet.)

- Family Phone: A shared family phone, for calls and texts only, that stays in the kitchen- this has been used with purpose for emergencies, to call/text family members, and a few friends. The parents got both boys smartwatches but both watches were forgot about or broken quickly.

- Nintendo Switch: Allowed on weekends with parental controls with daily time limits of 1 hour.

Despite her best efforts, she still wondered if she’d gone overboard.

With a mixture of curiosity and nervousness, she sat down with her oldest son to find out.

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Jana: “Do you wish you had more freedom with the internet and devices? How are you feeling about the current restrictions?”

Jaxon: “No, I feel like I have enough freedom right now.”

Jana: (Surprised) “You do? Really?”

Jaxon: “Yes, I don’t need anything else.”

Jana: “But don’t you feel left out? Or like I’m being too strict?”

Jaxon: “No, Mom. I know we need your guidance right now. I know you’ll loosen up as I get older, and eventually, I’ll have more freedom. But I don’t want my little brother to get addicted like my friends. So, I’m okay with this.”

Jana: (Jokingly) “Are you just saying this to get more?”

Jaxon: (Laughing) “No, really. I have friends who are always getting grounded from their video games, YouTube, and phones, and I just think that sounds horrible. I’d rather not do any of that. When I tell friends I’ve never subscribed to anyone on YouTube, they look at me like I’m crazy. But they’re actually the crazy ones—they’re so obsessed.”

Jana: “Oh yeah, that’s exactly what I don’t want for you.”

Jaxon: “Yeah, this one kid literally slapped me in the face and had a full breakdown when I didn’t know who a certain YouTuber was.”

Jana: (Surprised) “Wait, he slapped you in the face?!”

Jaxon: (Laughing) “Yeah, we were at recess when we were like 9. That’s when I realized I didn’t want to be friends with him or anyone like that. He’s the reason I know what you’re doing. He’s the perfect example of what we don’t want to be like or have in our lives.”

Jana: (With a mix of pride and relief) “So, you’re good with it? For now at least. You can always come talk to me or ask for stuff, and we’ll figure it out together, okay?”

Jaxon: “I know that, Mom!” (in a slightly exasperated/annoyed but happy tone)

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This conversation might seem simple, but it was profound. For years, she’d questioned her decisions, especially when it seemed like everyone else was giving their kids more freedom, more devices, more internet. Hearing her son not only accept but understand her reasons was a profound reminder of why she’d taken such care.

Jana's Reflection:

"In a world that often pressures parents to give in, to let go, or to give more, this was the affirmation I didn’t know I needed. My son’s calm acceptance and appreciation of our boundaries showed me that, sometimes, it’s worth it to set limits and hold firm. This made it all worthwhile."

The LookUp Way:

It’s not just about restricting screens; it’s about teaching values, boundaries, and the importance of real, intentional connection. As this mom realized, it’s about building a sense of purpose that’s stronger than any screen. And may we just add, what a fine, mature 11-year-old Jana is raising!

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Need help resetting your family boundaries or curious how to start from the get-go as Jana did? Check out our Healthy Parenting Page for tons of resources, take a look at our Family Tech Agreement (completely free and ready for you to personalize) or start with our simple Boundaries list!