How To Talk to Fellow Parents About Screens: building support without judgement
Navigating screen time and social media use can be a challenge for all parents in today’s tech-centered world. When we want to bring up screen concerns with other parents, especially when our children are spending time at their homes, it’s important to approach the conversation with empathy, respect, and a genuine desire for open dialogue. Here’s how to engage in supportive, judgment-free discussions that help everyone feel more confident and connected in their parenting journey.
1. Lead with Empathy and Understanding
Starting the conversation with empathy and understanding is key. Many parents are already feeling the pressure to balance screens in their families, and acknowledging the complexity of this issue can go a long way toward opening a non-defensive dialogue.
Example: “I know managing screen time can be really tricky. It’s something we’re still figuring out in our family, and I’d love to hear what’s working for you guys.”
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2. Begin with Non-Judgmental, Open-Ended Statements
Choosing the right words can make all the difference. When we approach the topic with open-ended questions or statements, we show other parents that we’re genuinely interested in sharing and learning together, not pushing our own views.
Examples of Non-Judgmental Opening Statements:
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“Every family seems to handle screen time differently, and we’re still finding our way with it. I’d love to hear what works for your family and what you think about screen limits.”
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“With all the screens in our kids’ lives these days, I’m always curious how other families are handling it. Do you have any tips or routines that have worked well for you?”
3. Share Personal Experiences, Not Prescriptions
Instead of giving advice, try sharing your own family’s journey with screen time. Talking about your successes and struggles can help normalize the challenges and foster connection. This approach avoids sounding prescriptive or judgmental.
Example: “We’ve had a lot of trial and error, and we’re finding that clear screen boundaries help our kids feel more focused and engaged. It’s not perfect, but it’s working for us so far.”
4. Offer Resources Instead of Instructions
Rather than suggesting what another parent should do, you could share resources that have helped or inspired you. Offering books, articles, or even app recommendations allows parents to explore the topic in their own way and time.
Example: “I came across some helpful insights from a nonprofit, LookUp. I can send you a link if you’re interested!”
Some more helpful resources are listed below!
5. Emphasize the Importance of Open Dialogue When Your Child Is Visiting Another Family
When your child is spending time at someone else’s home, it’s important to communicate your screen preferences in a way that feels respectful. Setting this boundary ensures your child’s screen habits are consistent, while also promoting a healthy dialogue with the other family.
Examples of How to Bring It Up:
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“I wanted to share that we’re working on screen boundaries with our kids at home. Could you let me know how you typically handle screen time when kids are over?”
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“Since our kids will be hanging out together, I thought it might be helpful to share our approach to screens. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it too!”
If you feel uncomfortable bringing up screen boundaries with another family, it might be a sign to consider whether you’re fully comfortable with your child spending time there. Clear, open communication helps set a foundation of trust and ensures you feel confident in the environment your child is in.
6. Encourage an Open, Non-Judgmental Conversation
Creating a safe, supportive space for dialogue is important. Many parents may already feel defensive about their family’s screen habits, so expressing curiosity and listening openly can help them feel less judged and more willing to share.
Example: “I’d love to hear how you’re approaching screens at home. It’s a tough balance, and I think we can all learn from each other.”
7. Acknowledge the Challenges and Offer Grace
Balancing screen use is difficult for everyone, especially in busy households. Acknowledge the realities of modern parenting, which sometimes means screens are a convenient option. This shows that you’re understanding, not prescriptive or overly idealistic.
Example: “I get it—sometimes screens are just the easiest option, especially after a long day. None of us have it all figured out, and that’s okay.”
8. Emphasize the Benefits of Healthy Screen Habits
Instead of focusing solely on the negatives, mention the positive impact that healthier screen boundaries have had on your family, such as improved mental health, sleep, and family connection. This helps shift the focus to shared goals rather than restrictions.
Example: “I’ve noticed that when my kids have less screen time, they seem more engaged and happier. It’s been rewarding to see them find other ways to entertain themselves.”
9. Thank the Other Parent for the Conversation
Finally, express gratitude for their openness. This reinforces that the conversation was a shared effort and lets the other parent know you appreciate their willingness to talk about these important topics.
Example: “Thanks so much for talking about this with me. I think we’re all just trying to do what’s best for our kids, and it’s nice to feel we’re in it together.”
What LookUp is Trying to Say...Building a Supportive Community:
Approaching these conversations with empathy, curiosity, and respect can help you build a supportive community of like-minded parents. By fostering open, non-judgmental dialogues around screen time, we can help each other navigate these challenges in a way that strengthens our relationships, sets a positive example for our kids, and promotes a balanced, healthy environment in each of our homes.
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Helpful Resources to help you, your family, and friends LookUp:
For the Sake of Our Youth Podcast
For the Sake of Our Youth Book
Social Studies (Hulu)