PULSES: A Holistic Guide for Parents to Check In
As parents, it can be overwhelming to ensure we’re meeting all our kids’ needs in a fast-paced, technology-driven world. To make it easier, use this simple yet powerful framework called PULSES to help consistently check in on their children’s overall well-being.
PULSES stands for...
Physical needs
United front
Loving Environment
Social life
Emotional health
Spiritual health
Let’s explore how you can use this tool to nurture your children holistically.
Physical Needs
Children thrive when their physical needs are met. This includes ensuring they’re getting enough sleep, eating balanced meals, staying hydrated, and engaging in physical activity. Are they well-rested and energized? Do they have access to nutritious food? Are they moving their bodies regularly?
Quick Check-In: “How are you feeling today? Are you tired, hungry, or needing a break?”
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United Front
Consistency and stability are key for children’s development. Parents and caregivers should work together as a united front when setting rules, boundaries, and expectations. Are you on the same page with your parenting partner or other key adults in your child’s life? Do your children feel secure in knowing their caregivers are aligned?
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Another important factor is for your kids to feel they are part of the team. Feeling united as a family, no matter the dynamic, your child will feel valuable to the family system and be more available for conversation and healthy communication.
Quick Check-In: Reflect on your family’s dynamics. Are there any mixed messages being sent that could confuse your child? Discuss and align as needed.
Loving Environment
Love and affection are the foundation of a child’s sense of self-worth. Beyond simply saying “I love you,” are you showing your love through actions? Hugs, words of affirmation, quality time, and small acts of kindness can go a long way.
Quick Check-In: “Have I connected with my child today in a meaningful way? How can I show them they are loved unconditionally?”
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*We love the 5 Love Languages for Kids and Teens to explore more ways to show love.
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Social Life
Social connections are vital for children, especially pre-teens and teens. Are they building healthy friendships and feeling included in their peer groups? Do they have opportunities to connect with others offline? If they seem isolated or lonely, how can you support them?
Quick Check-In: “Who have you enjoyed spending time with lately? Is there anyone you’d like to invite over or call?”
Emotional Health
Children need to feel safe expressing their emotions and managing them in healthy ways. Are they feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or withdrawn? Are you fostering a home environment where they can talk openly about their feelings? How are they doing with self-regulation off screens?
Quick Check-In: “How are you feeling today? Anything on your mind that you want to talk about?”
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Spiritual Health
Spiritual health can mean different things to different families. For some, it’s tied to faith or religion. For others, it’s about fostering a sense of purpose, mindfulness, or gratitude. Are you encouraging your child to reflect, feel grounded, and find meaning in their experiences? Or simply looking at it as doing activities/hobbies that lift your spirit.
Quick Check-In: “What’s something you’re grateful for today? Do you feel connected to something bigger than yourself?”
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What LookUp is Trying to Say...
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Checking in with your child’s PULSES doesn’t have to be a rigid process. You can weave these conversations into daily life—during car rides, mealtime, or bedtime. The goal is to create a consistent habit of connection and awareness. By addressing these six areas regularly, you’ll not only build a stronger relationship with your child but also support their growth and resilience.
Remember, no parent is perfect, and you don’t have to tackle every area every day. The PULSES framework is a guide to help you stay intentional and attentive to your child’s needs. Start small, stay curious, and watch your family’s bond strengthen over time.